Glenn's Guide To Everything

I actually think that 2011 was a really bad year and everything bad that has happened in 2012 was because of actions or decisions I made in 2011. I had to cancel a tour again this year, but it was almost impossible to put on. Continue reading →

I’m not sure why this huckleberry fag look has taken over Australia at the moment. Every time I go out guys are rolling their tight jeans up more and more, skirts are getting smaller and girls are getting younger. Sounds like a good recipe for some, however, for others like me it’s bordering on sad. I don’t want to condone drugs, and in particular ‘uppers’ but they do make Brisbane seem a bit more bearable. I think that’s because behind this keyboard is a pretty shy person who judges people if I’m stuck in a corner slamming a cheap, domestic beer with a few friends. And I’m definitely not saying that’s a good thing. Continue reading →

If you were wondering what the most arrogant sub-culture in Brisbane and possibly Australia is – it’s the new influx of bikey’s. And it’s not the cool, bad-arse motorbike gangs, it’s the fags who clog up our streets between 5am and 8am every morning. First they clog up our streets with their stupid bikes and their stupid clothes with their dick all over the place; then they go home, jump in their massive cars and clog up our streets. I am pretty sure the government has spent millions of fucking dollars making dedicated spots for these wankers yet somehow they manage to always get in my way. I mean what is so fucking good about cycling anyway? Most of them seem to look down at the ground, and I think they’re going slightly too fast to take in the scenery around them… so what’s the point? Jump on a bloody exercise bike and save some space. Continue reading →

When I was around 16 years old my friends and I were driving home from a basketball game in Gowrie Junction, about 15kms North-West of Toowoomba. Now I have always loved sports but have also been quite shit at it – and purely joined teams for fun. The council at the time had built this massive sports hall, which pretty much proved to be a waste of money, and only a handful of people used it every weekend. That is such a boring way to start this story but I wanted you to get some background on a place where I grew up. Continue reading →

My business partner at the time was drunk in Sydney when he received a phone call which slurred a “nigger” joke – one of the many politically incorrect jokes over that week. I’m not easily offended but they were never funny. It was Bam Margera, and I think he and his publicist came to Australia for one purpose – to have sex with as many people as possible and it worked a treat for them. In Auckland he lined up 7 girls who had no trouble relaying and tagging each other when Bam had finished with them. I quickly showed my housemate Mel what I had written just then and she didn’t believe it – but I can assure you it’s true. Continue reading →

Remember in about 5 blogs I mentioned I’ve never had sex with a hooker? Well that still applies here. I don’t want to seem like I’m opening up a floodgate of prostitute stories but I thought I’d share one more because it has been a long week and I need something to cheer me up. Continue reading →

Doing coke in Australia is almost completely fucking pointless – as I’ve figured out by being a spectator on the last tour I was involved with. At $300 a gram and more hit than miss, it starts to become more of a placebo rather than a drug that’s doing anything at all.  Sure you can get pretty good coke here if you’re lucky but is the fun worth the gamble? I doubt it. I’ve had $30 MDMA caps that have had almost the same effect for hours. Continue reading →